I never officially took a course in it, so I can’t speak to the actual written text or the academic discourse on Confucianism. But having lived in one of the most Confucius societies in the world, I can speak about the impact it had on me and those around me. Nothing I experienced was ever specifically tied to Confucianism. And I don’t believe people around me who were acting according to Confucianism principles like an automaton were actually even aware of what they were doing.
Confucianism had become so pervasively infused in the society that it was just part of daily life, as in “this is how things were supposed to work”. That means you don’t question it. You don’t even think about it until…like me, one day you wake up in another society and ask, “Why did I behave like this? Why do I still do this? This is not what I actually believe.”
Let me start with what I think is good about Confucianism from the readings I’ve done. Confucianism is all about “being in harmony” with things around you. That sounds really nice to me. If we are all in harmony, there’s no discourse. No reason for conflicts. Perhaps no war? Who wouldn’t want that?
But What that principle actually translates to is that everyone has a place in life that they cannot deviate from. How can there be conflict when everyone is in their own place, doing what they’re supposed to do?
And what does this further translate to? Hierarchical society which has strict layers that you can’t cross. Women who were relegated to households and under their husbands. Children of commoners who could never be more, regardless of the talents they might possess. People often ask me…isn’t Korea a democratic republic now? No more hierarchy in the society. We all have equal rights. Problem fixed. If things were that simple. Even in the U.S. we are not all equal. In Korea, even less so.
Since Confucianism was officially adopted (it existed before, but) by the Yi dynasty over five hundred years ago, almost like a religion, Korea has been living and breathing those principles. These things do not disappear overnight. So throughout my formative years and many more years prior and after that, these principles had been very much alive in Korea. It’s just no one would ever tell you that’s the case since they’re not even aware of it.
I hinted at these principles at work in some of my blog entries (e.g. To be or not to be “borrowed barley sack”, Packing bags). Those are all results of Confucianism at play. Women and children have their own places and the way they’re supposed to behave. Under the strict Confucian culture, a woman would be dishonored, could be kicked out of her home, or mistreated if she commits any of these seven evils (chilgeojiak): disobeying in-laws, bearing no son, committing adultery, jealousy, carrying a hereditary disease, garrulousness and larceny.
I was born into a Korean society where it was common for husbands to abuse their wives. No one thought of it as abuse. Surely, she’s done something wrong since those seven evils are so easily violated. Drunken husbands, beating husbands, were societally forgiven. Women who couldn’t give birth to a boy like my mother were shamed. Boys were always smarter than girls because that’s their place in life. No one outside the status quo was acceptable.
And these messages still follow me.
I’m a grown up woman, independent, well-educated, over-achieved perhaps. But a small part of me still questions… women who were abused, shamed… That was how things were. There was nothing wrong with it, was it?
It is hard for me to get a pulse on the society as just a frequent visitor. I don’t know if some of what I’d experience still prevails or it’s fading away. I hope that Korea has gone through a change. I hope that the generations after me never has to question what I continue to question deep inside.
Korean Snippets 